Samantha
by Self-san
Summary: Really? Really. She's Sam Winchester; Dean wasn't joking.


Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural and please, _God_ let Jared Padalecki never ever hear of this fan fiction.

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4- Play

"Dean play wif me?" the little girl asked as she picked up her Barbie from the seat beside her. Her large hazel eyes grew large as she gazed up at her older brother, her dark hair shinning in the light of the Impala. John was outside, getting them a hotel room for the night.

"_Sammy_," Dean groaned as he looked over the back of his seat at his baby sister. She waved her doll at him happily, smiling toothily as she gazed adoringly at him.

He smacked his forehead despairingly, glancing over his shoulder and praying that Dad would come back before Sammy dragged him with her puppy eyes back into the valley of the dolls.

No such luck.

"Uh, Sammy, why don't I tell you a story instead?" Dean asked, watching his sister hopefully. _Please, no more dolls today_, Dean thought tiredly remembering the half the day on the road he had spent keeping Sammy entertained.

At the suddenly sad eyes she gave him Dean resigned himself to playing just _one_ more game with her before bedtime…

Anything to make Sammy happy.

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6- Tradition

It was a tradition in their family that when you turned six, you got a knife.

Sammy was no different.

Watching her stare at the dull silver of the knife Dean knew that he was watching another piece of his sister's innocence be washed away.

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8- Turn

"Here Sammy, lets watch Pocahontas okay?" Dean said from the door, causing Sammy to look up from her coloring book.

She frowned at her brother, staring at the dark purple painting under Dean's eyes.

His rubbed them suddenly and she gnawed on her lip thoughtfully.

She carefully closed her coloring book, setting her three crayons next to it.

"Um, we can watch Godzilla if, if you want to," Sammy said haltingly, fighting with herself. She _really_ wanted to watch Pocahontas but Dean hadn't seen one of his movies in a long, long time.

But the smile Dean gave her made missing Pocahontas _totally_ worth it.

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10- Pink

Sighing, Sammy kicked her feet as she waited for Dean to get out of the bathroom.

They had money and Sammy really, really needed a new shoes.

Shaking her head, her pigtails swaying, she decided that she was going to get pink shoes.

Yeah, she decided as Dean took another minute in the bathroom, she wanted pink.

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12- Kill

"But, Dad, I don't want to kill it," Sammy said softly, clutching her sawed off to her chest. She breathed a puff of hot air into the cold night, looking at her older brother for some back up.

John sighed, kneeling down before his daughter and laying his big hands on her shoulder.

He stared into her eyes and gave her a hard, searching look.

"Now Sammy, don't you want to help Dean and me? We need your help Sammy, are you gonna help us or not?"

She gulped, straightened her back and nodded, terrified out of her mind.

John saw her terror and forced down his uneasiness. To keep Sammy safe he would teach her to hunt, to kill. To keep his _baby_ safe he would prepare her for the worst, teach her to deal with the horrors in the world. It didn't matter that all he wanted to do was wrap her up and hide her away from this life. It didn't matter one single fucking bit.

He steeled himself and gave her a heavy nod.

Sammy would be ready for _it_, when it came for her.

John would make damn sure of it because John knew that it _was_ coming for her.

It was just a matter of time.

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14- Games

Dean tried to make moving around like they did a game once, Sam remembered.

Now he didn't bother.

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16- Help

"Dean!" Sam yelled through bathroom door, watching in horror as a line of blood ran down her leg. She glanced back, panicked, at the bloody mess in the toilet. What was she going to _do_?

"Sammy?" Dean pounded on the door.

"I-uh, I need to go to the store!" Sam told him, holding a wad of toilet paper to her sluggishly bleeding crotch.

"_What_? What the hell Sammy?"

"I'm bleeding!"

There was barely a pause before Dean started pounding on the door again, this time more frantically.

"Let me in!"

"Not on your life, Dean!" Sammy squeaked out, her face hot.

There was silence before, "Sammy…are you bleeding," Dean trailed off, clearing his throat thickly, "_down there_?"

Sam's face, if possible, got hotter.

_Oh, God, _Sam let her head smack the door, clenching her eyes shut, _what am I going to do?_

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18- Pants

Turning around Sam looked at her butt, pursing her lips thoughtfully before frowning, shaking her head and missing the heavy weight of her hair.

When she got to good old Cali she had shorn it all off, leaving herself with a shaggier version of her brother's hair. And now she was shopping for clothes.

Girl clothes.

Tears choked her as she realized that she would never have a reason to wear a pair of hand-me-down guy pants again.

Because her brother and father were _gone_. Lost to her forever in place of her dreams.

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20- Lies

Sighing softly she ran her long fingers through Jess's hair. The soft blond hair of her girlfriend flowed over her shoulders and tickled Sam's breasts. It was comforting, so, so comforting.

Sam untangled her fingers and stared at the ceiling of their apartment, trying to convince herself that it wasn't true, that it was just a nightmare. The vivid picture of her girlfriend, the woman she loved, stuck above them burned in her brain and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

_Jess isn't going to die_, she told herself and tightened her hold on Jessica, carefully ignoring the creeping chill sneaking up her naked spine.

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22- Same

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

And it was just the same as it used to be.

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24- Brother

"Dean," Sam whispered, listening to her brother describe his time in hell. Her heart sank so low that she wondered whether her ribs would break under the pressure.

All of it, all of his suffering, had been for _her_. Her; stupid, abandon-her-family-Samantha.

Why did this always happen to her?

Why did she always hurt people like this?

He was her _brother_ and she didn't deserve him.

She wondered if she ever had.


End file.
